he walked his way to the door wearing little more than his towel. he starred into the pink sky of dawn. jonathan had just come out of the shower and was still worried, worried that he would be early for the most important event of his life. he had been working so diligently for the past three years and it was all for this very day. but jonathan didn't want to appear to be overly anxious. it was 5:30am and the sun was beginning to rise. the young man needed to be at the office by 8:00am.

jonathan walked nervously in a rhythmic pattern across his tiny, high-rise, studio apartment. 6 paces from one end and to the other. inhale. look up. exhale. look ahead. turn repeat. after 15 round trips his towel had loosened itself and fallen to the ground. jonathan was completely unaware and unaffected by his nakedness. the sweat on jonathan's torso glistened in the peeking rays of early sunlight as it inched its way over the coastal hills. the gathering dew of the san diego humidity was visible on his temples, nose and cheek bones.

jonathan closed his eyes as the sun crest over the horizon and shined directly unto his face. his face pinched tight and his chin quivered. he burst into tears. falling to his knees as if thrown down by some invisible force, he was finally able to absorb that today was the day that he would realize this dream. today was the day that he would see himself as he had envisioned for so many years. today, for the first time in nearly a decade, he would be truly proud of himself. today he would finally allow himself to break under the great burden that might finally be lifted. his mind was racing as instinct and emotion took over. and he willingly turned himself over to the power of the moment.

in the background there was silence, as the naked form of this 30 year old man knelt sobbing on the floor. it was a scene of pure and innocent relief. there was something almost epic about the culmination of so many years of struggle. the silence of the morning was the most appropriate accompaniment for such a poignant moment in the life of a man. he had born such a weight and responsibility for so long, all the while hiding his own inadequacies, even at most times from himself. his sobbing became more pronounced and nearly developed to wailing as he released the tension of so many years. his breathing was irregular as the might of his emotion steered him toward an inner peace he hadn't felt for so long.

jonathan, now nearly prostrate under the force of this ethereal experience began to regain his faculties and seize consciousness. tears fell from his eyes as he slowly welcomed the light of day and worked to regain his footing. like an olympian standing to face his foe he pushed himself up off the floor and looked to the majestic sun taking in its warmth and grace. he then turned to immense pacific grasping its destructive yet life-giving force. it was in that instant that jonathan understood that his life would forever be in opposition. it was in that moment that he put behind him the naivete of youth. this glimpse of utter triumph would buffer him and buoy him up for some time despite the life that lay ahead of him.

joanthan took in a great and slow breath of the morning and as a drop of perspiration fell from his brow so too fell the strain from his life as he let out that sigh of relief and stood triumphant over his foe, even if only for a moment.

it was 7:07am. time to get dressed.

nathan - signature 001

1 comment:

Taylor said...

This is beautiful Nathan, thank you.