3.01.2009

"that the works of God should be made manifest in him"

1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was ablind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this aman, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the aworks of God should be made bmanifest in him.

John 9:1-3




i hope to all gosh goodness that that is why I am who I am. I pray in my heart each day that in some way in another I will make a difference in this world, that I will impact the life of many through my thoughts, my actions, my deeds, my words, my aspirations. I pray that i will lift others up through my struggles and share with them the lessons that i have learned the hard way that they might find peace through my own sacrifice. i believe that each of us through the power of the atonement has the opportunity in this life to stand with our savior and feel our inadequacies and our insignificance and our imperfections and rise above it all to become powerful beyond measure and to truly take upon us the burdens of this life and make ourselves stronger than anyone has ever thought possible. there is nothing limiting in this life but own perspectives. nothing in our mortal existence will keep us further from our heavenly father than our own doubt and lack of faith in the innate god-given abilities that we have. i believe that we are all truly princes, royalty and men of great worth. i believe that this challenging task that we have agreed to conquer will be with us throughout our mortal existence, NOT as a stumbling block or as a curse but as a means to end. i believe that we stood in our pre-mortal existence with our elder brother and were presented the vision of eternity and in that vision we saw greatness in our lives. we saw the potential and the capacity that we would be blessed with and we saw the great challenge that would be placed before us. each person's vision was unique to them and to their gifts, talents, and circumstances. but the vision that i believe I was allowed to see showed a bright future that stretched beyond mortality and into the eternities. so i cannot limit my vision in the mortal life where the veil of forgetfulness has been dropped or i will not arrive at the great destination that i believe i saw. george elliot said, "it is never too late to be what you might have been." so why would ever choose to limit myself? because i have given up on myself. i was once told, "if you're not happy then you're not doing something right and it's up to you to change your life, remember the aim of our existence is to seek happiness." until i am truly at peace i know that there is always room to improve. when i get down and when i'm lost in my own vision of my self-worth, when i'm bogged down by the immensity of the task before me all i can do is slow down and look at one simply moment at a time. and i have to BECOME the change that i wish to see in the world and in my own life. if i want more positive things in my life I need to be more positive. If I want to be treated with greater respect than I need to treat others with greater respect. If I want to inspire greatness in the lives of others than i need inspire greatness in my own life. if i want to see myself as the man that i long to become than I must dispel the thoughts of misery and inadequacy that i might see in the task that lies before me.

i truly want nothing more than to make a difference during my tiny mortal existence and right now i don't have a huge major plan. i don't have some master scheme and i certainly don't have all the answers. but lately thoughts of inadequacy and uncertainty have filled my mind and i know that that is the effort of the adversary trying to tear me down. i will not allow it. i will not allow unfounded thoughts of suicide and loneliness to betray the knowledge that i have of greatness within me. i have not been faithful to my own potential. i have not been true to my god-given gifts and i owe it to myself and to those whose lives i might one day impact to be true to what i know is a reality. that is why i cannot say that anything in my life is a curse. i do not believe in curses and i do not believe in a vengeful god. i believe in a just, fair, compassionate, perfect god. i believe that he will see me as i truly am and if i will open my mind to see that design then and only then will i succeed in this life and the next.

the task before me is but a test. we have been taught that from our very earliest days in primary and thought this test may seem like an eternity it is not. i know with great certainty that the day will come when i will embrace my savior and all will be as it should be. i will look hi in the eyes and say thank you and praise him and he in turn will lift from me the burdens and the trials of this mortal existence and again make me whole. i have seen the vision of my eternity and i know therein lies an eternal family that i will cling to with all my heart and that i will call blessed. i know that during that great millennial period all will be put to right and the lord will oversea his brothers and sisters as they share his message with all god's children and offer up to them the privilege of eternity in the presence of their father in heaven. i know that i will be blessed to share that existence with my eternal wife and my posterity. i do not doubt this vision and i cannot refute its realness in my mind. this vision of god's eternal plan for me has offered me peace and calm and a redirection of my life. i know that god touches the heart of all those that seek to find him and i am a testament of that.

therefore i look to his greatness and his goodness and i cry not "woe is me" but rather i sing praises to that god that has blessed me with his righteous hand that i will be humble in this life and turn to him. i am not cursed. i am blessed. i am blessed to be so loved and so highly thought of my father in heaven that i can stand among men that would be so challenged that even the most choice among his leaders would stand in awe of our faithfulness and our testimony in the face of our task in this life. what a blessing it is. what a choice opportunity i have in this life to broaden the understanding of others through my example, my words, my deeds, my actions and my testimony.

i hope friends, that this heartfelt testimony will offer hope to you. i pray that you will see your greatness and look at yourselves as choice sons and daughters of our father in heaven. you are so blessed. you are so loved and so gifted. i seek only that you will see yourselves and the amazing individuals that you are. I wish you all the best and hope and pray for your success.

sincerely,

nathan - signature 001

4 comments:

Bravone said...

Nathan, I almost felt holy reading your words. They seem like scripture to my soul. You are making an impact for good. I feel hope and strength from your spirit to mine. Thank you.

hiddeninthelight said...

I really enjoyed this post. It was crazy to read the beginning because today I read those scriptures and had the same thought: I hope that is why I am who I am. Very cool. Thanks for posting this!

EJ said...

This was very beautiful. Thank you for sharing your testimony, it really was very touching, and inspiring.

-EJ

Bror said...

Your post speaks to my tired battered soul and gives me hope too. Thank you again.