the spirit doth... strive with man

i'll be the first to admit that i'm no perfect latter-day saint. i've been through my rebellion and my doubt. i'm not always the most in tune person but when the moment strikes right i do my best to listen for that still small voice. and despite my imperfection and my faults i'm still granted access to the power of that precious member of the god head. it was most profound when i found myself in a bar with some friends. one of those who had come with us wasn't seeming very unsure of himself and the situation. we had gone to see a band and I was looking forward to hearing their music. it was a rather rank location and frankly not the best atmosphere. but i was there for the music. the others were drinking and carrying on and this young man seemed to show more and more signs that he was completely uncomfortable there. we began talking, and oddly enough it became one of the most spiritual experiences in recent years. the music was loud, people were screaming, smoke filled the air and the banter of drunken revellers was distracting to our conversation and even more so to the power of the pirit but somehow it shown through. for some odd reason we both felt trapped in the building and continued our conversation. SSA came up and faith and god and turning from that and how can you balance your faith and your identity and how can you even live and so on and so on... we've all heard that conversation before. but somehow this one was unique. in so many ways i felt as if the spirit were sitting next to me whispering the words that i was to say in order to help this young man on his path. we didn't pay a lick of attention to the band and ended up even talking on the phone for hours that night after we parted ways. i couldn't help but feel that i had been used in the most glorious way by the lord to do his work. i hadn't felt the most worthy or the most spiritual but somehow i was worthy enough to recieve that power on that day and be used and inspired by the power of the spirit to make a difference in a young man's life. we read so much in the book of mormon that spirit of god ceased to strive with them because of their iniquity... but i choose to see the fact that the spirit DOES STRIVE to be with man and to influence him to do good. I feel strongly that the holy ghost does all in his power to point us in the right direction and to truly wrestle with evil on our behalf. I believe that the spirit of god STRIVES with man until he rejects that spirit. that to me has been one of the most amazing revelations of my life. and it was the moment that i KNEW that god's love was unconditional and boundless and that his power was there to lift me up and to build me up despite my faults and my imperfections and that he, through his spirit fought, struggle, yearned, wrestled, battled and bled all that i might turn more fully to him. that spirit will continue to STRIVE with me and urge me to follow the will of the father regardless of my faults or errors. if i seek it and hearken unto it the spirit will be there. that is the moment i KNEW that god loved me.
nathan - signature 001

1 comment:

Bravone said...

Nathan, I believe the Lord can use us in our weaknesses to bless the lives of others. None of us is perfect, yet we are all the Lord has to work with! It sounds like the spirit did strive to be with you and bless you both.

I think the Lord is anxious to bless us whenever or wherever we open our spirits to him. I appreciate your humility and honesty. I always sense a deep desire from you to not only hold onto your faith, but to also share it with others.

Thank you.